Grumpy Old Horse Shares Sarcastic Wisdom: Hilarious Advice for Riders

Keeping Expectations Manageable

A sarcastic advice section, where a grumpy old horse answers reader questions with no-nonsense wisdom.🗣

Q: "Why do I only behave when my trainer is watching?"

A: "Because I believe in keeping expectations confusing and unattainable."

Q: "How do I get my horse to stop spooking at the same tree every ride?"

A: "Move to a treeless desert. Or accept that he has chosen this battle."

Q: "Who's your pick to win the Derby?"

A: "Whoever remembered leg day."

Q: "Why won’t you stand still at the mounting block?"

A: "I simply enjoy the cardio of circling 12 times before you climb aboard. Keeps me fit. Keeps you humble."